It seems that "drama" comes in waves. I feel I spend most of my life relaxing on my proverbial boat, with my not-so-proverbial husband and dog, and bob along tranquil waters, enjoying life.

Becoming lost in God's spectacular creation - endless water, plush grass, stoic mountains, emotional animals, billowy clouds - this is what I breathe. Without the ability to take in nature, I feel I would wither. Then I look around, and find blessings of a husband who loves and accepts me for who I am, and who will do anything to plunk a smile on my face. A dog who's entire existence revolves around receiving a tummy rub from mommy and daddy at the end of a long day's wait. A Mom and Dad who have sacrificed everything to ensure I have every chance to be successful in this world by giving me bottomless opportunity and encouragement. And then sisters, in-laws, extended family and friends from whom I receive priceless support and learn more ways to enjoy life by watching them live out theirs.

Then a wave hits on a side of the boat I wasn't watching. Followed by another, and another and another. Just as I'm cleaning off the unwanted seaweed and occasional soda can from a nasty litterbug on one side of the boat, another wave hits on the opposite side of the boat. I hate drama. It's unnecessary and unsightly litter and causes undue stress on my peaceful little boat.

I like feeling accepted and loved. We all do. So why don't we give that simple gift to each other? It's free, in every possible sense of the word. It doesn't cost money not to criticize. It doesn't cost any time to bite your tongue... in fact, it saves time. Unacceptance is drama. it's completely unecessary and useless to not accept someone for who they are.

I used to try to fit in. Desperately I tried to fit in throughout high school and college. I wanted to blend into the crowd, go relatively unnoticed. I didn't know who I was exactly. I didn't know how to be me.

For some, blending in is who they are. It's what makes them feel satisfied, comfortable and happy. It's about doing what makes you happy. Some of us are happy being and looking different. Others are happy being and looking the same as the majority of people. Do what makes you happy, and be happy for others when they choose to do what makes them happy. I'd rather be around a happy person, than one that's suffocated because they're trying to be someone they're not.

I don't care what style someone selects, or food someone eats, or hobby someone invests in. That's their life, not mine. It merely makes me genuinely happy when someone in my life has found who they are and dives into those waters with entirety. Whether that means they're conservative and traditional, adventurous and risky, or free-spirited and carefree.

When we come home from elementary school, crying because someone made fun of our glasses, or our Transformers lunch box, our parents tell us not to worry, that this is a phase. When we're older, we'll find that our adult friends will be much more accepting of us than our elementary school friends are. Kids pick on other kids because they lack confidence in themselves, and so they like to point their finger at someone else, to distract from their own insecurities. This, we're told, subsides with age and maturity.

I've not found this to be true. It happens as an adult, I'd venture to say, just as much as when you're a kid. Sorry kids, it doesn't get any better. All I can say is this.

Know who you are. (I know too many adults who are still trying to figure this out.)
Accept who you are. (You're your own worst critic... and you can be your biggest fan.)
Be who you are. (Don't change for anyone except for yourself or for God.)

I accept that there will always be unaccepting people in this world... but I also accept and love me for me, more importantly. So when those people do express their unacceptance or criticisim, I know it just doesn't matter.

One of my best friends recently demonstrated this for me. After relaying to her something someone said to me, she said, "Melissa, I want to show you something. Here, take this." She held out a dirty napkin to me. I took it. "Why did you take that???" she asked. I mumbled something like, "well, you gave it to me... I'm not sure actually."

She went on to explain, "Melissa, just because I handed you that piece of trash doesn't mean you had to take it. Life is full of choices. You chose to take that worthless piece of trash from me. It's the same when someone throws some unwarranted criticisim or negative opinion at you. You can choose whether you want to take it. If you see the words are worthless to you, kindly say your 'no thank you' and walk away. But if you see that it's going to make you a better person, you can choose to take it. But choose wisely. Just because someone tells you something, you don't have to take it and carry it around with you. You can walk away from it."

It all starts with knowing who you are, so you can understand and embrace it. I recommend creating a simple list of three things that encompass who you are, and explaining what each item means to you. Understand that those who love you in your life, and are worth your time and effort and affection, won't try to change anything you put on your list.

I am a follower of Jesus Christ.
This means I live my life in such a way that I strive to make Him proud of me by treating others the way I would like to be treated, and by choosing to honor Him even when no one is looking.
I am a free-spirit.
This means I enjoy experimenting with clothes, makeup and hair styles and am happy looking different. It also means I enjoy differnet forms of entertainment and relaxation, and am proud of my activity and hobby choices.
I am a vegan and an environmentalist.
This means that I do not eat or use products that contain any animal products or that have been tested on animals. It means I believe I have a purpose on this planet to protect animals as well as the other natural resources and beauty in God's creation.